Monday, November 3, 2008

It's Friday Night, And The Mood Is Right

While no single faction or proponent of evil may be blamed for the entirety of darkness in our world, they each contribute their parts.  While the Devil is fictitious and there is no single entity that supplies the world with hate and pain, we as humans do our part through neglect, prejudice, fear, perversion, and all the other traits we choose to deny and conceal.  Some do more than others.  These people, overly hateful in their own ways, form the web that restrains humanity from evolving on any type of a spiritual or intellectual level.  They are the diseases that keep us too weak to help ourselves. 

 

There are others who, like white blood cells, do what they can to counteract this infection.  There are good people in our world who spend everyday trying to help others and to thwart evil through good deeds.  They help those in need.  They protect the innocent from the violent.  They heal the sick and injured.  They lay down their lives for good causes.  Unfortunately, sometimes, good deeds are not enough to incite change.  Sometimes, for the world to accept change, a declaration must be scrawled in blood.  Too often we don’t notice the need for change until it is the blood of the innocent painted on the walls.  Society slumbers until too many have been slaughtered, and then wakes only to fight back in an unorganized and hasty fashion, often still with one eye closed.  This must change.

 

Murder is murder.  There is no escaping this. Violence is meaningless without an intellect behind it.  Once you have spilled blood, whether a righteous kill or self defense or accidentally in a moment of blinding rage, the blood is on your hands, and will be forever.  This is the burden.  This is the trick, the catch, the game, the fact, the shame that comes with being awake.  Movies make it look so cool and easy.  Soldiers will tell you a different story.  Even soldiers have war and orders and adrenaline to shield them from some of the moral and emotional kickback of killing, and we should be grateful for the burdens they bear for our freedoms.  Vigilantes are of a wholly different nature though.  They are either singular, and most likely sociopaths, or part of a mob mentality lead by hate and revenge.  The term vigilante comes from the word vigilant, which means watchful and protective.  Very few are capable and committed enough to act as true vigilantes, fighting alone against the evil and corrupt.  He is one of them.  He perseveres against the thousands of arms holding him back from the fight, holding him down in his place amongst the blind mob.  He is not blind.  The struggle, the visions of reality, and the pressure to do what must be done are all taking their toll though, and slowly changing him, splintering him into the sharp pieces he uses to fight back.

 

 

Tonight he wears dark cargo pants, black boots, and a long sleeve black shirt with a couple buttons near the neck.  In a cool way he almost looks military.  He blends in perfectly in the dark basement atmosphere that houses the biggest night-scene in the city.  As he purveys the room he makes sure that the usual suspects are present.  The strung-out bartenders are pouring drinks as fast as their shaking hands can, spilling half as much as what makes it into the glass.  Most of them got started here thinking they might make a couple extra bucks at night, but soon succumbed to the lack of sleep, the pressure to perform both here and at their day jobs, and the easy access to drugs that comes with tending bar.  They are among the lost souls who can no longer fight the flow and simply drift with currents of darkness and despair.

 

The business men, in town for this meeting or that convention or just passing through on their way to a satellite office, sit in the darker corners with girls on their laps, drinks in their hands, and Cheshire grins on their faces.  Tonight’s company will only cost them a pittance, and it is worth a little cash to have this kind of fun and not worry about their wives finding out.  The young girls catering to these gentlemen are merely more of the “lost”.  Whatever their varied sad stories may be, they all have the same climax and the same conclusion.  The apex of their lives is here giving sweet passion to the undeserving men, whom they pray will see something worthwhile in them, or will at least leave them enough cash to get that next fix, to keep the heat turned on, or to buy the necessities for their babies. 

 

The owner sits at low table surrounded by low overstuffed chairs and loveseats.  He has done more than turn a blind eye to the parasites harbored here in his establishment.  He actually caters to the stronger predators that frequent his bar, in the hopes that they will protect him, treat him as one of their own, maybe even like him.  The truth he refuses to see is that they will only hold back from destroying him as long as they still have use for him.  Still, he sits and shmoozes, giving them rounds on the house, and making sure his prettiest cocktail waitresses give them plenty of service.  The predators find a sick humor in this, as they themselves own half the ass on the street outside.  They themselves are ultimately responsible for the drugs that keep these lost souls down here, scrounging for more, and drinking away the sorrows that come with losing your job, your way, your kids, your life, all for the hot kiss of a good high. 

 

With the few exceptions of couples and friends who wander into this bar for music and dancing, everyone here is already dead, their bodies just haven’t stopped moving yet. 

 

He walks a circuit around the barroom, and orders a club soda with extra limejuice.  When the bartender looks at him with a raised eyebrow he says “I’m the D D tonight”.

 

She shrugs.  Not only does she drive home drunk and high every night, she couldn’t really care less about this guy.

 

He takes his drink and does another lap around the room.  This time he counts his steps from the entrance to the table where the owner sits with his fiendish company.  He walks past nonchalantly and counts his steps to the men’s room.  Inside the restroom he enters the last stall, latches the door, and pulls some toys from his cargo pockets.  These toys are quite simple, and homemade.  One is made from a condom, tampon, some quick setting concrete, and string.  A couple inches up the string is another tiny ball, then several more feet of string.  He flushes this down the toilette and feeds out the string until it comes to a knot he tied before to mark a certain distance.  He ties the string around the toilet seat and flips the lid shut.  The second toy looks a lot like an air freshener that you would plug into a wall outlet.  It is in fact a handy device for turning on lamps and other appliances with a tiny one button remote.  He bought it at a home improvement store for about ten dollars, and it was easy enough to modify for his needs.  He plugs it into the outlet on the wall.

 

The simple fact is that it is very, very simple to cause panic and mayhem.  Turn off the lights, fling a little poo, and all hell breaks loose.  The blueprints to any bar, restaurant, or store are attainable, if you know how to go about it.  While unclogging a troublesome bit of plumbing can be quite a difficult task, plugging a pipe is amazingly easy.  Electricity holds a level of magic in the average mind, but any electrician knows how easy it can be to blow a fuse box, or other wise cripple a power source.  These are the just the details of how he is going to play his game tonight.  The why is hopefully already obvious.  He has been planning this for weeks and now it is time to take action.

 

He pulls a mouth guard from his pocket and puts it in his teeth, wiggling his lips and baring his new plastic grin to get it set properly.  Then he pulls the last two items from his pockets.  They are heavy for their size.  Two black leather gloves with padded knuckles and beanbags sewn to the palms.  He stitched them together himself, filling the palms with lead shot.  The added weight will increase his need for accuracy, but will also add to the impact hopefully meaning he will have to throw fewer punches.  He is ready now, as straightens his shirt and picks up the tiny remote with his left hand, and his lime soda with the other.  He walks out of the bathroom and sways a little, pretending to be drunk.  He takes fumbling steps toward the VIP section where his targets await. 

 

The couches are arranged in something of a horseshoe, with the Alpha dog sitting in the chair that is the bend.  He is one of the meanest and most venomous of the lecherous committee, which is why they treat him as their leader until another takes the opportunity to stab him in the back.  At his right the owner sits with a nervous smile, sharing a couch with a large well dressed thug (one of the cities better known pimps).  On the ringleader’s left hand there is his bookie, responsible for taking not only bets, but “security” taxes, and cuts from all the other schemes and hustles.  Next to the bookie is a younger man, lean, possibly protection or possibly the latest “horse” they plan on gambling with in some underground matches.

 

Our hero stumbles toward the table innocently until he bumps it with his leg, shaking the drinks resting on top and soliciting barks and groans from the men sitting there.  He looks surprised and apologetic as he raises his hands, keeping up the guise of drunken innocence.  Just as the men check their tempers, he smiles.  They don’t immediately realize what is happening, because his mouth guard is white and black and made to look like a grin missing a couple teeth.  At first they smile and almost begin to laugh, but he doesn’t give them time.  He splashes his limejuice in the young fighter’s face, and throws his empty tumbler at the owner’s face.  Just as the large pimp shoots up from the low couch he puts him back down in it with one heavy blow directly to the nose.  He hears scuffling behind him, and as he had expected, the table at his back was full of young thugs who were also in league with these devils.  This was what he had the remote for.  Only, when he clicked it, nothing happened. 

 

“Shit.”

 

In an instant, he hops onto the table, barely dodging a chair that swung crashing into the floor where he had been standing.  He takes the two steps to the back end of the table and, in true footballer fashion, kicks the Big Dog’s teeth into the back of his throat.  He clicks the remote furiously.  Nothing.  Swinging his leg around backward he catches the accountant’s chin with his heal and spins his head to the side with a sickly crunch.  More clicking.  More nothing.  Only an instant has passed since he hit the owner with the glass, and the man is holding his forehead dazed with pain.  A swift kick to his dome puts him out of his pain, at least until he wakes up. 

 

Facing the startled room and cluster of goons scrambling toward his table, he smacks the remote into the palm of his other hand, and clicks it again.  The lights flicker and go out, and the music dies.  The room is nearly pitch black and filled with protests and yells and the rumbling sound as angry men start to flip the table he is standing on.  He lunges at them and takes two down in his fall.  Quickly he punches one in the face and wonders if the impact between his weighted fist and the concrete floor has killed the bastard.  The other manages to land a solid punch to the side of his jaw, but our vigilante has the high ground so the punch is not as devastating as it could have been.  He puts that kid to sleep with two fists, one to either eye.  By now the other goons are doing the math and figuring out where he is on the floor amidst their comrades.  He brings one down to his level with a swift punch to delicates.  While the poor shmuck wheezes and tries to find the breath to cry, our gladiator uses his shoulders as leverage to stand and then knees him square in the face.  Confusion is setting in and people who would not otherwise get involved are stumbling into the battleground.  It is time to exit.  He quickly finds the table and orients himself in the dark.  He begins quickly walking toward the bathroom, counting the steps in his head.  Just as he starts though, he hears the fighter behind him.  No longer debilitated by the limejuice, he is groping in the dark searching for vengeance.  The room takes on an eerie blue-white glow as people start using their cell phones as flashlights.  Why is it that people who can barely afford a roof, utilities, and food, always have the latest and greatest cell phones?

 

The fighter sees him and pursues him through the crowd to the bathroom.  Both smash unapologetically through the throngs of drunks who are using the blackout as an excuse to grope each other.  He makes it to the bathroom first, with just enough time to crash into the stall, stand on the closed toilet lid, and yank the string.  The plug has set by now, and while it is not solid, it is good enough.  Pulling the string sets off a small charge in the other ball, creating back blast and blowing septic water out of every toilet and sink in the bar.  Immediately he hears screams of disgust from the ladies room and the two men standing at the urinals.  The blast from his toilet is deflected by the lid he is standing on.  Just as he smirks at the thought of what he has done, the fighter steps in front of his stall, illuminated only by the green light of the emergency exit sign.  He hadn’t expected this.  Fair fights are not really as cool as everyone thinks. 

 

He tries to swing the stall door shut but the fighter kicks it in against him, throwing him off balance for a second.  Putting one foot on the wall behind him, he lunges from the top of the toilet to tackle his opponent.  The fighter dodges, but not by enough, as they both crash to the wet tile floor side by side.  They both scramble to their feet, our hero hurrying to get into any kind of position to throw one of his devastating punches.  He tries too soon and lands a fist on the fighter’s ribs.  It is a glancing blow that hardly slows the professional.  On their feet, the boxer lands a solid blow to his side and follows it quickly with a fist to the ear.  That punch to the ear never lands though, as our underdog puts his arms up in protection and the fighter finds out why he is wearing long sleeves.  The long sleeves of his black shirt conceal stiff bracers fashioned from Kevlar and metal strips.  Our friend fells the boxer with a combination to the gut and a hook under his chin.  As the boxer slumps against the wall and slides to the wet floor, our hero pulls a long narrow spike from his bracer and slides it through the fighter’s hand, pinning it to his chest.  It isn’t deep enough to puncture a lung or otherwise kill the mercenary, only to cause excruciating pain. 

 

He leaves him there, unconscious, with his hand over his heart, pledging in his coma to be a better person.  Or maybe not.  Either way, a ribbon hangs from the spike with a message.  “Villains… Leave while you can”.  When he wrote that, he thought it might be a bit dramatic, but so was everything else he had done tonight.  If the scum of this town believed he was insane, that should only give them more reason to fear and flee.

 

He blends into the waves of people flowing toward the exit, and once he is out in the night he escapes unnoticed, hailing a cab, and riding off into the night.  His work for now has been done, and when he wakes in the morning it will be an entirely different part of him that dresses up for a day a of shopping, people watching, and quiet, peaceful vigilance.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Let Us Begin With The Fat Man

The Fat Man

 These are the tales of a man attempting to save the world.  These are the stories of a man who sees the darkness and has chosen to fight rather than stand idly by.  He is a bastion against entropy, evil, and the apocalypse that they threaten to incur.  He is not a superhero.  He is a simple man, who believes above all else that he can shoulder the burdens of the destitute, that he is obligated by birth to rescue the innocent and defenseless.  These burdens will break him in the end, but not before he makes a difference.

 

 

 

The Fat Man

 

Every Saturday he dresses up for a day in the city.  Today he grunts a bit and sweats a little as he bends to put on his pants.  His shirt has been specially tailored to fully cover his belly.  His belly freely hangs to his knees.  The shirt has been made to conceal his unsightly obesity and tucks into his pants, which require no belt, as they are held up by the friction between the underside of his gut and what would be his lap.  He is careful not to tear the seams as he slides on his sport coat.  He has a little gel in his hair, and as he gives himself a light spray of expensive cologne (bought in France from a parfumerie that crafted its spicy floral balance just for him) he checks himself in the mirror.  If he were 200 lbs lighter, he would be the kind of guy most women ask for.  Well groomed, well dressed, his teeth are straight and clean, his eyes are green and lucid, chivalry and manners are integral factors of his nature, and he speaks with passion, and thought, and honesty, for the most part.

 

Today though, he is going to learn the same lesson that he learns every Saturday, when he leaves the safety of his home and drives into the city.  He will deny it, ignore it, set his mind against it with all his might, but at the end of the day the lesson will win, and the dark truth will beat him down.  The truth is that nobody will notice how well dressed he is.  Nobody will notice his expensive watch.  Few will come close enough to smell his delightful perfume.  No one will notice his bright-eyed smile.  Of the few who will have conversations with him, none will last more than a couple sentences, mostly obligatory pleasantries.  He won’t admit it yet, but at the end of the day, as he drives home, he will be broken.  Not from arguing with the throngs of misguided fools, but from walking amongst hundreds of people and not being able to connect with even one, for even the briefest moment.

 

As he enters the city the sun is climbing in the sky and he has his window down to let the cool autumn air rush over his arm.  Like a child, he occasionally plays with his hand in the wind stream, moving it in a serpentine motion with the resistance of the wind.  It is a beautiful day.  He pulls off of the highway, and at the stoplight he notices the people in the car next to him staring.  He is wearing sunglasses so they do not realize that he sees them staring.  They are young people, probably in college or just graduated.  They do not make any lewd gestures, but by their expressions he guesses that they are discussing what a tragedy it must be to weigh as much as he does.  They might be wondering how he fits in his car.  His seat is as far back as it will go, he has a special extension for his seatbelt, and his belly rubs both the steering wheel and the floor between the seat and the pedals.  They are likely talking about how it must hurt, how life must suck.  The light turns green and he pulls away.

 

He parks his car on the 6th floor of a parking structure, and walks over to the elevator.  The elevator doors open and the car is empty.  He pushes the ground floor button, but then, as the doors begin to close, he hears hurried footsteps approaching.  He holds the door open with his arm as a couple with a young girl approach.  The man stops abruptly, a slightly surprised look on his face.

 

“There’s still room folks!” He says with a jolly smile.

 

“We… uh” the husband starts.  His wife clutches his arm and whispers something about walking.

 

“We were going to take the stairs, But thanks anyways.”  The wife says with a fake smile stretched so wide it makes her eyes squint.

 

They grab their little girl by her hood as she waves at him.  She is maybe six years old, and doesn’t realize yet what an abomination he is.  They turn around and start to walk back the way they came, back toward the stairs. 

 

He strolls down the sidewalks for a couple blocks until he reaches the market.  Perusing through the stands of handmade crafts and homegrown produce, he stops occasionally to buy some organic fruit, and fresh herbs, and small package of spice which the merchant insists will improve any meat dish.  None of the merchants talk to him more than asking for their prices, and thanking him for his business as they hand him his change.  When he asks simple questions about products he gets only short answers and it would seem that they suddenly have more important business than convincing this customer to buy their goods.  He wanders on.

 

He is met with the same service as he stops in at various shops and stores in the shopping district.  In a very reputable women’s clothing store he finds a jacket that he knows his assistant has been eyeing for over a month.  Her birthday is next week.  When he is finally able to get a sales associate to help him, he requests the jacket in a small size and waits patiently while it is retrieved.  He hears the whispers in the back of the store, as the girls who work there are deeply confused at whom he could possibly be buying this for.  While signing his credit card bill, he says with a warm smile,

 

“Thank you so much for your help ladies. I know she is going to love this.” 

 

They smile their most professional smiles, and hand him his bag, with the jacket neatly folded inside.  He walks out the door and into the cool evening air.

 

It is already late afternoon and the sun is hanging low in the sky.  Having skipped lunch he decides to have one of his organic Asian pears as he walks back towards the parking structure.  He has several blocks to go, but the stroll is pleasant as he waddles with shopping bags in one hand, and the pear in his other.  The pear is sweet and crisp, and the grainy texture compliments it’s juiciness perfectly.  Pears are a simple pleasure, that he simply loves. 

 

For a few blocks he is the only person within eyesight, and this is when it happens.  He comes to the corner of an alleyway and hears a scuffle in the shadows behind a dumpster.  As he turns to look closer he sees the little girl from the elevator as she starts running toward him with wide frightened eyes.  A hand reaches out and grabs her by the hood and pulls her back off of her feet.  She lies on the dirty ground choking and crying.  He now hears the father’s voice in a meek and negotiating tone, while his wife sobs in panic.  He drops his bags and pear and walks into the dark alley with a powerful gait. 

 

“What’s going on here?”

 

Two young punks have the parents cornered between the wall and the dumpster, both are wielding switchblades.  One turns nervously to look at him.

 

They laugh nervously at him, and amidst a wave of profanity, they tell him to get out his wallet as well.

 

“I think these folks would appreciate it if you didn’t use such foul language around the little girl” 

 

He moves closer to the girl who has gotten to her knees and is crying into her hands.  He reaches down and touches the back of her head and she instinctively wraps her arms around his leg.  The mother is only more scared and confused by this, and the father is so blinded by both his fear and his frustration that he obviously can’t think straight and is likely to make a very bad mistake very soon.

 

He takes his wallet from his jacket pocket.  He pulls his keys from his pocket with his other hand and twirls them around his finger.

 

“You can have my wallet and my car if you leave these folks alone and refrain from swearing around the girl.”

 

They think this is funny and turn all of their attention toward him.  They let him know that they can take the money and the car and still talk however they like, because they are in control.  They punctuate this statement with even more profanity.  They do not realize it yet, but they are starting to lose control.  He gently pushes the girl off of his leg and looks down at her, smiles and tells her it will be all right.

 

He tosses the wallet over his shoulder away from the thugs and says “I asked you not to swear around the girl, can’t you see you are scaring her?”

 

They snigger at him with incredulous looks on their faces, and let him know, with more profanity that he has just made a costly mistake.  He steps farther away from the girl so that the thugs’ rage is aimed well away from her.  He now has his back almost to the opposite wall of the alley.  One punk takes two quick steps and lunges toward him with his knife held out in front of him.  He is much faster and more nimble than one might expect and he easily dodges the blade, taking the miscreant’s arm, and with one fluid motion he twists and thrusts.  The foul-mouthed attacker’s head smashes against the wall at the same instant that his wrist snaps and the tendons in his shoulder begin to tear.  The villain is out cold.

 

The second hooligan is surprised but not completely deterred at the sight of this.  The mugger sidesteps in a very lupine fashion, looking for an opening, feeling for his chance. 

 

He grasps the keys still in his hand, and stands up straight apologizing for hurting the first mugger.  He begins to explain, but is cut short when the villain springs at him and stabs him just under the ribs.

 

They both tumble to the ground.  The wind is knocked out of him as he stares up into the wild eyes of the attacker.  In those eyes he sees little more than fear and anger, but mostly fear.  The vile wretch straddles his gargantuan belly and slides the knife in to the hilt once more.  He smiles and when his breath returns he whispers,

 

“I asked you not to swear around the little girl.”

 

His fist explodes into the underside of scoundrel’s jaw.  The keys between his fingers pop through the skin and impale the vile tongue from through the mandible.  Quickly he pushes the mugger off of him, before he can gurgle and spew blood on his nice shirt and jacket.  It doesn’t matter though, his fine outfit has been ruined in the scuffle. 

 

Slowly climbing to his knees and grunting to stand, he looks over at the family huddled behind the dumpster they are too busy sobbing, and grabbing, and hugging, and inspecting their daughter to stop him as he hobbles back to the corner, picks up his shopping bags and leaves. 

 

In something of a trance, he walks to his car and then drives home.  It is dark when he gets home, and as he walks inside he sets his parcels on the counter and goes straight to the bedroom.  He pulls off his jacket and unbuttons his shirt.  Inspecting his wounds, he lets out a disappointed grunt.  After taking off his trousers and draping them over a chair at the foot of his bed, he unzips his back.

 

The padded suit falls off in a heavy thump, and lies like a big misshapen donut on the floor. 

 

He never wears makeup or other prosthetics.  The simply fact is that when people see his silhouette they don’t care enough to give him close inspection.  Even if they think his face or hands are disproportionate to his body, it never warrants any ideas that he may not be anything other than what he seems to be.  Certainly he is nothing more than a fat, gluttonous, disgusting slob.

 

Today was different though.  Today something happened.  Maybe the little girl will be different, maybe not.  The parents may be confused, but that will pass and they will soon return to their habitual practices and beliefs.  What was different today, the thing that was new, was that he felt the knife sliding in.  The body he has pretended was his for so long, was his for an instant.  He was the fat man. 

 

He takes a long hot shower before going to bed.  He will wake in the morning and go about things as he often does, without the suit.  People who know him in his regular body will wonder why he seems so tired and dysphoric.  They will rumor that he might be using, boozing, or wasting his nights with “professional company”.  None of them will guess that he is burdened with the heavy truths of the world.  None of them ever recognize him when he bumps into them on Saturdays.  None of them know that his personality is tearing itself asunder.  While his mind schisms, part of him stays grounded, while the other parts form plans for becoming a hero, for doing something good enough to justify his comfortable “normal” life.